1000+ Pick Up Lines
By Popular Demand: 1000+ ways NOT to get a girlfriend!! Just Remember: This is going to very explicit and vulgar at times; read at your own risk!
1143 Ways Not to Get a Girl Friend (AKA get slapped, “DENIED” or scarred for life)
1 Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
2 Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
3 Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
4 Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
5 I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.
6 I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
7 I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.
8 Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
9 (To a girl with braces, and if you have them as well) "Hey, wanna hook up sometime?"
10 If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
11 Pardon me, have you seen my missing Nobel Prize around here anywhere?
12 Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
13 Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me.
14 Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?
15 My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to
16 There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.....
17 Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
18 When I first saw you, I knew we could win the Stanley Cup in tonsil hockey.
19 They call me "coffee". I grind so fine.
20 Which one of the Spice girls are you?
21 Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.
22 This is a test of the emergency pick up line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pick up line.
23 Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
24 My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in
25 Can I take you to the Bone-yard?
26 Do you want to see something swell?
27 I may not be dairy queen but I'll treat you right!!!
28 Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me?
29 Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
30 I just (censored) pooed into my pants. Can I get into yours?
31 Do you like magic? I want to cast a spell on you with my magic wand.
32 Don't worry about the missing teeth. It just means that there is more room for your tongue.
33 I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow.
34 Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you submit to an inspection
35 If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.
36 You remind me of Pokemon. I just wanna piccachu.
37 Beww BEWWW That is the sound of the ambulance coming to pick me up because when I saw you my heart stopped!
38 Are you Natasha, my contact?
39 You're so hot, your Boootay is on fire.
40 You know, when you and I get old and our son/daughter comes up to me and says "Daddy, how did you meet mommy?" I'm gonna have to tell him/her how quiet you were, or how difficult you were being."
41 It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
42 You must be an adverb, because you sure do modify me!
43 Your graphics are so beautiful that they rival Doom 3
44 Did you invite all of these people? I thought it was just going to be the two of us.
45 Can I try a few pick up lines on you? [give some good ones and some lame ones] OK, I have just one more line for you: Can I try a few pick up lines on you?
46 (Rub her forehead) Did you know that you've got "hot" written on your forehead?
47 My name is Justin. Justincredible.
48 Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
49 Be unique and different, just say yes.
50 Can I flirt with you?
51 you have more curves than a race track.
52 Do you know karate? your body is really kickin.
53 Honey, I'm new in this town - dya think I could have directions to your house
54 I hope you know CPR, cos you take my breath away!
55 Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
56 The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
57 Will you be my love buffet so I can lay you out on a table and take anything I want?
58 Baby I'm like milk, I'll do your body good.
59 If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
60 Are you like Pringles?
61 If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together.
62 Can I have fries with that shake!
63 You're so sweet you're giving me a toothache
64 you can call me the pilsbury dough boy, I swear I giggle
65 If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
66 Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get.
67 Are we near the airport or is that just my heart taking off?
68 Is your dad a terrorist? Because your the bomb!
69 Are you a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you.
70 Is that the sun coming up... or is that just you lighting up my world?
71 Let's make like a fabric softener and snuggle.
72 Hi, have you got a boyfriend? (if no,) Are you taking applications?
73 My love for you is like the universe...neverending!!
74 guy:what's on your face?? girl:what what get it off get it off guy: o it's just your beautiful eyes
75 That outfit is horrible take it off right now!!!
76 Baby, you are everything I never knew I always wanted
77 If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard.
78 Hey, how’s it going? Do you see my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.
79 Your one heck of a pot of gold, and me, I’m a leprechaun
80 Girl, your body is a wonderland, you can call me alice
81 Do you like blueberries or strawberries? (why?) Because I want to know what kind of pancakes to make you when u wake up.
82 Baby, I'm like Taco Bell...I'll spice up your night.
83 Wouldn't it be nice if we could be at this same place next year..together..and laughing?
84 You are so hot you make the windows fog.
85 Some say there are more. Some say everything in life is a wonder. But to me, There is only one....You!
86 See the sign over there that says “exit”? will you go out with me?
87 I saw a flower this morning and I thought it was the most beutiful thing I've ever seen until a gazed upon you.
88 I have never had a dream come true until the day that I met you.
89 You've go something on you head. (what?) A halo.
90 I know I dont have a chance, but I just wanted to hear an angel talk.
91 "Hey, if I kiss you, will I get slapped?"
92 Someone pass the tartar sauce cuz your quite a catch!
93 Hey sugar slow down I am diabetic!
94 If you were a pill I'd overdose.
95 I hope your day is as radiant as your smile.
96 Walk up to a girl, hold out your hand and say "Would you mind holding on to this for me while I take a walk?"
97 Are you a fisherman because you've got me on the hook.
98 If looks could kill you would be a weapon of mass destruction.
99 Baby whatever your serving you better give me a double.
100 Your lips look so lonely, Would they like to meet mine?
101 Do you drink a lot of Snapple? Because you look like you're made from the best stuff on Earth.
102 Are you related to the sun?...Because running into you just brightened up my day!
103 Are you on America's most wanted? Cause you're at the top of my list.
104 You come on strong like a garlic milkshake.
105 I noticed you noticing me and i thought i would notify you that i noticed you too.
106 If your beauty was like gas, my car would never need refilled.
107 Hey I just realized this, but you look alot like my next girlfriend.
108 I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.
109 Pardon me, are you in heat?!
110 Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?
111 You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
112 You make my software turn to hardware!
113 Is your name Pepsi cause' I've gotta have it.
114 I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
115 Tickle your pussy with a feather? (What?) I said, "Particularly nice weather."
116 I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?
117 Are you menstruating? If so, I know how to insert tampons.
118 Can I borrow 70 cents? (No) Then how about 69. I'm sure you can offer 69.
119 Got two nipples for a dime?
120 You must be this beautiful (make hand gesture for small height) to ride the me.
121 Excuse me. Do you have chicken in your fridge? (yes) How big are your breasts?
122 Ever tried to poop into a toilet when there's someone sitting there with you?
123 I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
124 Hey do you like Pink Floyd? Cause I will make you comfortably numb! The Wall is our Friend
125 Hi I am the InTIMinator and “Ill be Back”
126 Wanna watch a movie? How about scarface? You can say hello to my little friend.
127 Hey, there. I've got a question for you. What's the speed limit of sex? (I don't know) 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
128 If you were my sister/brother, incest would be cool.
129 Was your father a 'meat burgler'? It looks like somebody took fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress!
130 Is your Dad an astronaut? Because someone took the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
131 You must be tired because you've been running through my dreams all night
132 Wow you remind me of that girl from my wet dream the other night
133 Was your dad king? He must have been to make a princess like you.
134 Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
135 What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
136 You are the reason men fall in love
137 Are you related to Cupid in any way?
138 Where have I seen you before…? Oh ya that statue of Aphrodite!
139 I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you.
140 If you stood in front of a mirror and held up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
141 When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor, so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
142 Can I borrow a quarter? I told my Mom I'd call when I met the girl of my dreams.
143 Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.
144 Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
145 If I followed you home, would you keep me?
146 Was your father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!
147 Was your Dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns.
148 You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
149 Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
150 You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!
151 If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".
152 Can I take your picture? I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.
153 Are you related to Mike Tyson? Because you knock me out.
154 If you were a burger at McDonalds, you'd be named McGourgous
155 Your body must be a Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be
156 Please come here, I'm desperate.
157 Guy: Did you just fart? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because you just blew me away.
158 If I had a penny for every girl as beautifully stunning as you, I’d be the poorest man on earth, but by far the happiest
159 Would you like some visene? Why? So you can see our clear future together.
160 I hear your body is made up of 75% water, man am I thirsty!
161 Do you sleep on your stomach? (No) Can I?
162 If I had a rose for every time I thought of you I'd be walking in a garden forever.
163 You're so sweet I'm getting cavities.
164 Your name must be Lucky Charms, cause you're magically delicious.
165 Baby, have you been eaten your Campbell's soup? Because you are looking Mmm, Mmm good!
166 Are you wearing lipstick? Mind if I taste it?
167 If I were bread, would you be my butter?
168 God was showing off when he made you
169 Is your name Elmo? Because I want to tickle you all over
170 Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice.
171 Hi, are you here to meet a nice guy/gal or will I do?
172 You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.
173 You got Comcast? Cause I am the man in Demand!
174 I know somebody who likes you but if I weren't so shy, I'd tell you who.
175 Pardon me, but what pickup line works best with you?
176 You say your name is Randi? That’s funny you make me randi!
177 Statistically speaking, the most effective pickup line of all time is "I love you".
178 You remind me of Pringles…once I pop you I just cant stop you!!!
179 Can I dip you in chocolate?
180 Roses are red, bananas are yellow, wanna go out with me like a nice little fellow?
181 If love were a drop of water, I'd be in the Pacific Ocean.
182 If you were a tear drop, I would never cry for fear of losing you.
183 Excuse me, do you have Band-aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you.
184 Was your Dad in the Air Force? Because you're the bomb.
185 Life without you is like a pencil without lead, pointless.
186 I think I've seen your picture somewhere. Oh yes, it was in the dictionary under SHA-BAM!
187 You're so hot that you make the sun jealous.
189 My orbitals are hybridized and ready to bond!
190 Did you know chemists do it with models.
191 I’m a chemist… Chemists do on tables periodically
192 I lost my teddy bear. Can I cuddle with you instead?
193 You're so hot you melt the elastic in my underwear.
194 Hey c'mon now, I'm ugly, you're ugly, it's perfect
195 Heres my library card, I want to check you out!
196 You're more beautiful than 100 pink flamingos on a golf course.
197 If wishes came true I'd be having dinner with you tonight.
198 See a funny story… I found this bottle… a genie popped out and asked me three wishes, and well after number one here I am
199 If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
200 Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's out of business, and speaking of Hershey's, how about a kiss?
201 Can I have your heart? I need it to be complete and I don't feel whole without you.
202 Gently rub the girl's back and say, "I thought angels had wings."
203 You must be the cause of global warming.
204 I don't think a firefighter could put you out. But I’ll try and hose you down!
205 Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
206 Is your name Pepsi? Because you sure are sizzling.
207 Are you in a plane cause you are getting me up
208 Are you a broom? Because you sure swept me off my feet.
209 If a star fell every time I thought of you, the sky would be black at night.
210 You're looking sharper than a page of Oscar Wilde witticisms that has been rolled up into a point, sprinkled with lemon juice and jabbed into someone's eye.
211 I think we should be lab partners because you and I have chemistry.
212 I don't know if it's igneous or metamorphic, but baby, you rock.
213 Kiss me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to go out with me?
214 You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
215 If I were a tear drop I would be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
216 If you're here, who's running heaven?
217 Do you work for NASA? Because you're outta this world.
218 Walk up to a girl and look at the tag on the back of her shirt. When she asks what you're doing tell her your checking to see if she was made in heaven.
219 Did you hear the latest health report? You need to increase your daily intake of vitamin me.
220 If I were you I would go out with me.
221 If you will be a damsel in distress I will be your James Bond. In fact, we dcould “bond”
222 You're the marshmallows in my Lucky Charms.
223 If I were a gardner, I'd plant your tulips next to mine.
224 May I borrow some of the chapstick you're wearing?
225 I have an owie on my lip, will you kiss it and make it better?
226 Hey good lookin' what'chya cookin'? How’s about cookin’ some with me?
227 Love is when you don't want to go to sleep because reality is better than a dream. After seeing you, I don't ever want to sleep again.
228 Let's hide behind a rock and get a little bolder.
229 How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. Hi, my name is (insert name here).
230 You better stop, drop and roll right now cause you're on fire!
231 Watching you is like watching the sun rise with the morning dew, but there is one difference - you're better
232 Jealousy is for everyone else because they don't have you.
233 If you were a pirate would you put your parrot on this shoulder (touch girl's shoulder) or this shoulder? (touch other shoulder and keep arm there)
234 Ever wonder why you have spaces between your fingers? So my fingers can fit there!
235 I was watching the discovery channel the other night and I was wonder if you could help me clarify on what I saw… reproduction
236 If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard.
237 Pick up a pack of sugar and hand it to a girl, saying, "Here, you dropped your name tag."
238 I'll make you a bet - $20 says you'll turn me down
239 If I was an ice cube, I'd melt standing next to you.
240 Are you a star? Because you always shine when I look at you.
241 This isn't a beer belly, it's a fuel tank for the love machine.
242 May I have your autograph? Why? For being the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.
243 I memorized every number in the phone book, but managed to lose yours. I'm gonna need to get that.
244 wanna go practice the multiplication tables?
245 Is your daddy a shoemaker, because you just knocked me off my feet
246 . You might not like it when guys swear, but I swear I'm in love with you.
247 I just ate some skittles. Do you want to taste the rainbow?
248 My heart is broken...could you fix it for me?
249 I think God took the pigment out of a leaf and put it in your eyes (for green-eyed person).
250 I think God took the colour out of the ocean and put it in your eyes (for blue-eyed person)
251 I think God took a brown topaz gem and made you eyes out of it. (for brown-eyed person)
252 I bet it was hard for God to make your eyes out of crystal clear ocean water.
253 Wanna play a game? Its called Meiosis
254 Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
255 Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
256 Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?
257 I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.
258 I'm easy. Are you?
259 I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
260 I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.
261 Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
262 Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.
263 The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
264 If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
265 (Approach a group of them) I'm gonna have sex with you, you, and you. Alright, who's first?
266 (give the person a bottle of tequila) Drink this, then call me when you're ready.
267 Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.
268 As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!
269 All those curves, and me with no brakes.
270 (Walk into her chest) "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened.
271 Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?
272 Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you."
273 Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
274 Hey, I know you! You were Miss Maryland last year, weren't you?
275 I feel like Richard Gere, I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.
276 Oh you know what they say where we start is where we end
277 Don’t make me go home and sing “Hey You”
278 I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
279 I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness
280 I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
290 I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
291 If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
292 Just where do those legs of yours end?
293 Let's take a shower together -- you smell.
294 So, what do you do for a living besides always making all the men excited and warm all over?
295 Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons!
296 Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
297 Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
298 Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.
299 What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!
300 Wow! Are those real?
301 You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
302 You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.
303 You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae
304 You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.
305 You're ugly but you intrigue me
306 Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?
307 Hey, You were great on Bay Watch last night!
308 Babe! you look so fine i could drink your bath water!
309 I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
310 I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
311 You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
312 You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.
313 Baby, you so flat you make the walls jealous.
314 I bet you could suck the chrome off a trailor hitch.
315 I bet you could suck Lincolns head off a penny.
316 Are you wearing space pants? Cause your ass is out of this world.
317 Excuse me.....Hi, i'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and i was wondering if i could interview you...
318 If god made any thing better than you he keep it for him self.
319 Guy: Sorry, but you owe me a drink. Girl: Why? Guy:I looked at you and dropped mine.
320 Girl, if I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!
321 Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
322 You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.
323 You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.
324 Are you a tamale? 'Cause you're hot.
325 I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.
326 Most people like to watch the olympics cuz it only happens every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone like you only happens once in a lifetime.
236 Where's your paper bag? (What?) Your paper bag to put over your head. (Excuse me?) It's dangerous for someone like you to be out in public with all of these horny people around. Don't worry, I'll protect you.
327 Has anyone ever told you that you have Scandinavian hands? (Uh, no.) No, of course not, that would be an incredibily stupid thing to say, wouldn't it?
328 Do you bleach your teeth? 'Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark. Let's go prove it.
329 Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.
330 Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
331 I'm sorry, but, have we met before? (No.) Oh, I'm sorry, I guess that it must have been your mom.
332 Baby, you're so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.
333 You're a babe, right? Haven't you seen the film?
334 Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
335 I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
336 A women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"
337 At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
338 Baby, I'm an American Express lover.... you shouldn't go home without me!
339 My hands are cold can I use you “BUN”son burner?
340 Can I please be your slave tonight?
341 Can I see your tan lines?
342 Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
343 Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)
344 Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
345 Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?
346 Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
347 Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
348 Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.
349 Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.
350 Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
351 The names Ted, not Bundy but Ted
352 Do you spit or swallow?
353 Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
354 Excuse me, maam, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
355 Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
356 Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say, "Hi Laura!" She says, "I'm not Laura!" And you say, as your hand slips a little lower, "But you sure feel like her!"
357 Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" She says no. Then wink.
358 Have you ever played leap frog naked ??
359 Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
360 Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
361 Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
362 Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
363 Hi, I'm new to this c ountry and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?
364 Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption.
365 Hi. Are you legal?
366 Hi. You'll do
367 How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
368 I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?
369 I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
370 I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
371 I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
372 I wonder what our children will look like.
373 I would kill or die to make love with you.
374 I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast one.
375 I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
376 I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
377 I'm an organ donor, need anything?
378 I’m Italian, Do you have any Italian in you? Want some?
379 I'm leaving this place...want to cum?
380 I've got a condom with your name on it.
381 I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?
382 If I was Elvis, would you screw me?
383 If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
384 If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
385 Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just glad to see me?
386 Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
387 Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
388 Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."
389 Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
390 Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
391 Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.
392 Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?
393 Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?
394 Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
395 So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
396 That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
397 That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
398 That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.
399 That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
400 There are 265 bones in the human body. How'd ya like one more?
401 There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
402 Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.
403 Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
404 Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumber?
405 Wasn't I supposed to eat you somewhere?
406 When she asks, for a match. How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
407 Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
408 Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
409 Will you marry me for just one night?
410 Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
411 Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
412 Would you please come home with me and tie me up...
413 How about coffee tomorrow morning?
414 You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
415 You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
416 You smell wet. Let's Party.
417 You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
418 Your legs look cold. Do you want me to warm them up?
419 HEY!!! KITTEN HOW ABOUT SPENDING SOME OF YOUR NINE LIVES WITH ME?
420 If I let you suck on my tongue would you be greatful?
421 Have you ever played spank the brunett.....wanta try?
422 Are those lumber jack pants your wearing? They are giving me a woody.
423 Do you like whales? Well I have a hump-back at my place.
424 Girl, yo' so fine, I wish I could plant you and grow a hole filed of you!
425 You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.
426 I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears.
427 Hi. Can I domesticate you?
428 Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited!
429 Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?
430 If you were a car, I wax you and ride you all over town.
431 Your belt looks extremely tight. Let me loosen it for you.
432 Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
433 "Excuse me, but you dropped something back there" Woman: "What's that?" You: "This conversation, lets pick it up later tonite."
434 I’ve been a bad boy so spank me
435 Say Baby do you mind if I hangout on your stomach for a half an hour or so?
436 I'm a freelance gynocologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?
437 Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits
438 You say, "So, did you here the one about the guy and the girl who had the most sexual relationship?" The reply, "No". You respond, "Well then, let's go to my place and I'll tell you all about it."
439 Excuse me, do you have any Benedryl? No why? Because everytime I look at you I have swelling "down there"
440 So baby, do you see why the girls call me tri-pod?
441 Um...I need a little help with my Calculus, can you integrate my natural log?
442 There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.
443 If you had some nuts on the wall, would they be walnuts?(yes). If you had some nuts on your chest, would they be chestnuts?(yes) If you had some nuts on your chin, would they be chinnuts?(yes) Hell no, you'd have a dick in your mouth.
444 Do you like chips? Because if you are frito lay than I am a barrel of fun!
445 Come over here and get a taste of America's Most Wanted.
446 Did you know that I saved a girl's life last night? (No.) I pulled a 6 inch piece of meat out of her mouth to save her life. Can I save your life?
447 You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, storages? Well, I don't even own a car.
448 Do you mind if I end this sentence in a proposition?
449 How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilized?
450 Hey babe- pretend my pants is France and invade them.
451 Are you a virgin? (No.) Prove it!
452 Hey baby, I'd like to herd by cattle in your fertile valley.
453 Hi. I'm a dog and I need to bury my bone.
454 Lets skip all the bull-shit lose our inhabitions and DO what we really came here to do.
455 You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
456 Do you live on a chicken farm (girl says no) well you sure know how to raise cocks
457 Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?
458 Hi, sorry I don't have an opening line but since you have an opening and I have a line. . .
459 What'll you say we make like Winnie-the-poo and I can get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
460 ya you could call me pinoochio
461 Do you wanna box? [Yes.] Well, get on your hands and knees and give me two blows to the head.
462 Pick a number between 1 and 10. Shit you lose now take off your clothes.
463 Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.
464 What is your first name? Hmm, that goes kinda well with my last name.
465 I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
466 If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
467 Hey I see your wearing clothes, I'm wearing clothes, you know we have something in common we should get together and do something sometime.
468 Wanna play "kite"? I lay down, you blow and we'll see how high you can make me.
469 My bedroom has a very interesting ceiling. . .
470 I'm easy, but it looks like you are hard.
471 I am hard and apparently so are you…
472 Do you have room in your life for another “friend”?
473 Casual is in definitely in my vocabulary
474 Nice pants, can I test the zipper?
475 Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
476 Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven't got any, how about a cock?
477 Do you believe in the hereafter? Then you know what I'm here after.
478 If I were to borrow your glasses, could I see you home?
479 I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.
480 I wanna take out your pencil and stick it in my pencil case.
481 I wanna take out my golf club and score a HOLE in 1.
482 If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep in until the afternoon.
483 Hi. I'm horny.
484 You know, I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.
485 You look like my type: nice hair, beautiful eyes, amazing body, but there is still just one problem: your clothing. (What's wrong with my clothing?) They're still on.
486 (Look down at the crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.
487 So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?
488 Call me Chevy, I’m Like a Rock
489 Wanna Play toy story? I’ll be Woody if you be Bo Peep?
490 My tool may not be the longest but it gets the job done
491 I’m Like taco bell… I’ll spice up your night!
492 I’m no slacker I wrap my whacker!
493 Baby if you got the love I got the glove!
494 Your eyes are like glistening jewels…wanna see my familie’s jewels?
495 (Walk over to her)"Ok, you can stand next to me, as long as you don't talk about it."
496 Chicks dig me. I wear colored underwear.
497 Come on, you can't get pregnant again.
498 Did you know that the word 'motel' spelled backwards means 'letom'?
499 Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?
500 Excuse me, miss? Hi, I'm doing a scavenger hunt for my fraternity rush, and one of the things on my list is a umm....weird chick.
501 Free mammograms, get your free mammograms here, get 'em while they're hot!
502 Have you run into any trees lately? Then how bout a root!
503 Hello, Susie. Your mom couldn't make it this afternoon, she asked me to pick you up and take you home. My, what a pretty dress you have bet you look better with out it.
504 HI! Can I buy you a car?
505 Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
506 I found this [Thong] on the floor at the club last night, is it yours? Well, if it's not, I'd like to give it to you anyway.
507 Want to see my stamp collection?
508 What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?
509 You know, if we cut your arms off, you'd look just like Venus de Milo.
510 You have the ass of a great artist, could I try to paint it?
511 If I pet you, would you follow me home?
512 Greetings and salivations
513 Chicks dig me because I rarely wear any underwear, and when I do it is usually something eroticaly exotic...want to see, I think today I got leopard skin undies…
514 I have big feet.
515 Not only can I palm an NBA basketball, I wear a 13 1/2 size shoe
516 I want you to have my children. In fact, you can have them right now, they're out in the car.
517 Most people would agree that society these days has lost a bit of it's civility. It's a shame. You have excellent posture.
518 I'm the one responsible for all those crop circles in England, In a “round” about way you could say I used a stick…
519 Uh, do you like come here often, huh huh. I said "come."
520 You need a man in your life, baby. And like, I need a woman. Let's like get into each other's life or whatever.
521 Uh, like let's drop all the uh B.S. and like, you know, do it.
522 I can make you feel like I've never had sex before..
523 My lips are registered weapons.
524 If I was the last man on Earth I bet we could do it in public..
525 If you need a love doctor, I have a medicated degree..
526 If you ever had sex with a machine, that's what it's like with me. 'Cause I'm a sex machine..
527 If you're really hot, I bet I can cool you down..
528 Hey, are you one of those chicks who goes out with guys right off the bat? 'Cause that's what I'm looking for..
529 You may not be really hot, but I bet you like to do it..
530. (leaning over to whisper) I think about you when I masturbate
531 Are we related? Do you want to be?
532 Can you say Constantinople backwards? Me neither, but I just wanted to ask.
533 Can you spell ICUP. I-C-U-P. You saw me pee. (laugh profusely)
534 Do you know how to use a whip?
535 Wanna go play Rodeo? I’ll be the bucking bronco.
536 Drop 'em!
537 Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
538 Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?
539 Hey babe...can you suck start a Harley?
540 Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
541 Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."
542 I am very, very lonely, and I was wonderin'...
543 I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.
544 I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.
545 I’m like KFC finger lickin’ good
546 I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler naked?
547 Like the look of your crotch.
548 If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK
549 Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?
550 Pardon me miss, but I help noticing that you have cum in your hair.
551 Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.
552 What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this??
553 Why you've got the whitest teeth I'd ever want to cum across!
554 Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
555 Would you like to dance or should I go do myself again?
556 Would you like to see me naked ??
557 Wow! Are you really as beautiful as you seem or do you remind me of myself?
558 You are just truly absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean also?
559 You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.
560 You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?
561 You know what I like about you? My arms. (put arms around)
562 You look just like my mother.
563 You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.
564 You remind me of a girl I used to date.
565 You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend.
566 You're 'No Parking' right? Just trying to guess your sign.
567 Your name is Laura, huh? Can I call you Laura? Really, what time?
568 I'd walk a million miles over broken glass just to meet the guy that did you last.
569 Excuse me , she says "Uh huh", do you have any Grey Poupon? no? well we can still get the sandwich action going on baby....
570 Do you like clocks? (Yes.) Put two hands and a face on this. (Point down)
571 Do you like chocolate? (Yes.) You can have my bar.
572 Beer is the root of all evil. Give me a beer. I'm a WICKED root!
573 Hey baby... you got any diseases? Want some?
574 Is your name daisy? Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here!!!
575 If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would flip the M and W (double you).
576 I have four words for you "Hol I Day Inn".
577 I am not a prince but I'll give you something royal.
578 Is your name Brandy? Because your the best liqueur I have ever had.
579 Do you want a worm-do? (Whats a worm do?) It does this..(Move your finger like a worm~~~~)
580 I'd call this puppy love but I'm not into all those new positions.
581 Wow, your eyebrows are thick, like my dick!
582 I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.
583 I'm feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?
584 You're like a Pringle. Once I pop ya, I can't stop ya.
585 You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?
586 I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
587 (if your name is Dan) Did you know my name backwards is "Nad"?
588 Hey baby, I think you made my two by four into a four by eight.
589 I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.
590 Have you ever heard of the naked pretzel? Ok, sit on my magical lap and we'll see what rises!
591 Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?
592 You look like my mommy. I like my mommy.
593 What the hell are you looking at? Oh Ya I would too (look down and blush)
594 Do you have a name or can I call you mine?
595 Someone vacuum my lap, I think you need a clean place to sit.
596 Excuse me, but do you have the temperature?
597 If I was hungry for crabs would you spread your legs for me?
598 Do you have a license for that wagon you're draggin'?
599 Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Kablaam"?
600 Can I impregnate you with my Demon spawn?
601 Hey, you've got a lawyer's ass. Yip, it's firm.
602 Like Motel 6, I'll leave the light on for you.
603 Can I ASS you a question?
604 You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
605 o you like to drink through straws?
606 Hi, my name is Peter. Wanna find out why?
607 Ever seen the movie "Fear"?
608 I cannot believe what a complete slut you are.
609 If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? (No.) Well, I don't, so let's go.
610 Hey babe!!! Free Cocaine!!
611 Are you an oscillating fan? 'Cause your phone is ringing.
612 Your eyes remind me of diamonds, because diamonds are expensive, and so are eye replacements, and baby- you need eye replacements.
613 Is that baby oil on your forehead? Cause you shine like an angel.
614 Excuse me, but does this smell like spermiside to you?
615 You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
616 Would you like to shake hands with beef?
617 I'm not a chef or a dancer, but I can pop cherries
618 Have you ever wondered what a vaginal blood fart smelt like?(No) Cool....me neither.
619 Are you cold? (Yes) You want a jacket? (Sure) Well, not here, you can jack it when you get back to my room.
620 In Venezuela only real men have big mustaches.
621 Here, you take my lollypop and I'll improvise...
622 Hi my name is _____! Can I pee in your butt?
623 Hey sexy. I like shoelaces, bow-ties, and motorized wheelchairs. Wanna go back to my place and use all three?
624 If you were yogurt, would you be fruit at the bottom or stirred?
625 If you were the Virgin Mary, could I bless you?
626 Excuse me, but I think I left your sunglasses in your pocket. Mind if I check?
627 If you have oral-sex with your own clone,would that be called masturbation?
628 So....I heard you wanted to fight me, as long as its not a cock fight…
629 Hi, I was just wondering? Do you wipe front-to-back or back-to-front?
630 Oak tree leaves are green in the fall and your pants are red in the hall.
631 Are you gay? Cause if you are, I just got castrated!
632 Can I get you a cold banana?
633 Ya know, if Ivanna Trump married Neil Diamond, she'd be Ivanna Diamond. And if Ivanna Trump married Chris Rock, she'd be Ivanna Rock. If Ivanna Trump Married Tom Cruise, she'd be Ivanna Cruise. Is ur name Ivanna cause mine is dewy
634 I once knew a squirrel named Marvin. God your hot. Marvin is in Africa now.
635 Excuse me, are you well protected?
636 Hey baby, everything I'm going to do to you tonight I learned at SeaWorld.
637 You can't be first, but you could be next.
638 You can call me marsh and tonight will be anythgin but mellow
639 Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven't seen you forEVER!! (huge kiss) Wow, you've really changed! (I'm not Laura) What? Oh my God, you even changed your name!
640 Driving and my penis...they are both hard for you.
641 You, Me, and a midget makes three.
642 You remind me of my cousin. (How?) I want to do you so bad, but I know that I can't.
643 Just remember: To you, I am a virgin.
644 I've got a big nose, big hands, and really big feet. That's right, I'm a clown.
645 Wanna see a trick I learned in prison?
646 You know, its girls like you that make me wish I were a lesbian.
647 I wana spank you with a sack of kidney beans while you cover yourself in whip cream and let a horny duck named jeff lick it off you.
648 I didn't know that Miss America used to live right here.
649 (With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings.
650 Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?
651 my name is James wanna go bond?
652 Hi. I suffer from amnesia. What’s your name and phone number?
653 I have only three months to live. ..
654 I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
655 I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
656 I'm sorry, were you talking to me? (No.) Well then, please start.
657 What's your favorite position on premarital sex?
658 Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
659 Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?
660 Wow
661 You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.
662 [Grab the ass] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
665 Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.
666 Your daddy must be a hunter because he sure caught a fox!
667 Your daddy must be an archer because he sure shot a bulls eye!
668 Your daddy must play the trumpet, because he sure made me horny!
669 You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you're the bomb.
670 Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
671 Hi. I would like to award you the {Whatever beer we were drinking} award for looking so good. Now if you will give me your name, number and other vital statistics, I would like to enter you in our grand prize drawing for an all-expenses paid date with me.
672 You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.
673 Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.
674 Say, you remind me of a pop tart. (Why?) You are cool because you're hot!
675 If beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away.
676 Baby, you are the finest thing in the world. I could put you on a place and sop you up with a biscuit.
677 I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.
678 Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for!
679 What is the name of your perfume? "Catch of the Day?"
680 When I marry I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.
681 I'm good at math. U+I=69
682 Hi. Your name must be (your car here) because my backseat has it written all over.
683 Excuse me, do I need to buy a ticket for your fantastic voyage?
684 I'm wearing Revlon colorstay lipstick, want to help me test the claim it won't kiss off?
685 I'm wearing Revlon colorstay lipstick, want to help me test the claim it won't kiss off?
686 Mars? This is the advanced recon unit. Good news, I've found a couple of foxes.
687 Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?
688 Do you remember Crayola Crayons? They used to have this color...Blizzard Blue. It was my favorite color and I could never figure out why. But I just realized why, your eyes...Blizzard Blue.
689 Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a sample?
690 Excuse me, do you have any raisins? How about a date?
691 Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass.
692 Hi, my name is Chris. I'm funny, financially stable, and have a very interesting DNA structure.
693 (Open and close wallet quickly) Here's my "Fine Arts Connoisseur" diploma. You sure are a masterpiece.
694 (while looking at stars) I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.
695 See this pin? I want to prick you with it to see if you truly do bleed sunshine.
696 You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way
697 Hi. My name is {name}. I'm running for president in 2012. And I could sure use your vote. Here...write down your number and I'll call you to discuss my platform.
698 Good evening. May a thorn sit down amongst the roses?
699 Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only lovers will leave a footprint on your heart. And you, my dear, have left one great leap on mine!
700 Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
701 Giant polar bear (What?) It broke the ice.
702 What is your favorite color? (Answer) Mine too!
703 Hey, here's (name), comin' at you with the weather. Can I be your warm front?
704 So, what do you like to do for fun? (Why?) Because I'm gonna ask you out.
705 Well, I AM telepathic, and I can tell that you love me. Right? (NO!) Damn, I always get "love" and "lust" mixed up.
706 (Talk to her)Did i ever tell you you are my hero? You're everything I wish I could be? (Start Singing) I can fly higher than an eagle! (talking) Because (the person's name) you are the wind beneith my wings.
707 (close hand with nothing inside and give it to girl) It's my breath from when you took it away (open palm while saying this)
708 Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?
709 When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
710 I'm a Love Pirate, and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!
711 I believe that it was Socrates who opined, "Know thyself." Well, I already know myself, how about I get to know you?
712 Hey baby. You got a jersey? (A jersey?...What for?) Because I need your name and number
713 Hi, I'm astronomer and I've been sent by the department to examine a heavenly body named XGY8... 6... 9'er... Er, wait. That heavenly body is you!
714 You be the biscuits and I’ll be the gravy, let us do breakfast sometime.
715 Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
716 Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
717 Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
718 Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to?
719 Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
720 Hey Baby! I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag!
721 Hey baby, let's go make some babies.
722 Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you some meat.
723 Hey I am a wrestler, let me take you down.
724 Hey, baby, wanna lock biscuits and swap gravy?
725 Hi, I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent.
726 I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?
727 I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
728 I am a plumber and I would like to illustrate how pipes go together…
729 I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
730 I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
731 If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
732 My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."
733 My name's [your name]That's so you know what to scream.
734 Are you hungry? Wanna go back to my place and make a sheet sandwich?
735 NOW!
736 Oh, you're a bird watcher.. Well, would you take this for a swallow?
737 Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
738 “Do I make you horny Bay-bay?”
739 wanna play a game? Its called “bunnies:”
740 What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
741 Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
742 I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...
743 Hey! Wanna play war? (replies)WHAT? (you)Yea, I lay on the ground and you blow the hell outta me!
744 My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth recessitiation?
745 Are you going to the party tonight (what party?) The one in your mouth, everybody's cumming.
746 I know where there is a good party, they've got liquor in the front and poker in the rear.
747 Do you like apples? (Yes.) How about I take you home and do naughty things to you. How do like them apples? Huh?
748 Do you like jewels? (Yes.) Suck me, it's a gem.
749 Person #1: hey, you wanna do a 68? Person #2: What? Person #1: You go down, and I'll owe you one.
750 Scientists have determined that the average time for intercourse is four minutes. The average number of strokes per minute is nine, and since the average length of the penis is six inches, the average female received two hundred and sixteen inches or fifteen feet per intercourse. Three times per week, fifty two weeks in a year, so, 150 times 18 makes 2700 feet, or just over a mile and a half. If you are not getting your mile and a half, why not let me help out?
751 Tell me how my cum tastes.
752 Wanna a frosty?
753 First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.
754 Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?
755 Anything for that Vertical smile
756 Wanna go 50-50 on a rape charge?
757 I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy.
758 So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?
759 I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
760 You are rubber, I'm glue, what ever you say, I bet I will do you.
761 Looks don't matter, I'll just wrap you in a flag and do you for country, pride and glory.
762 I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
763 Do you like my belt buckle? (any response is okay ) It would look better against your forehead!
764 Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?
765 Happy hour's over but it's still going strong at my place.
766 Are you gay? (No.) Wow, score!
767 Would you do a complete stranger? (No) Then Hi, my name is...
768 Hi. Last night, a little leprechaun came up to me and told me that if you don't have sex with me tonight my dick is going to fall off. We don't want that now do we?
769 I'm conducting a survey on the taste of vaginas. Wanna be my first participant?
770 Look out in the night sky. You see that bright light to the right of that red one? That is a comet that is streaking toward here at 34546 miles per hour. At that rate, it will be here in about an hour. So lets get busy?
771 Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, "Fuck it".
772 love is a sensation; caused by a temptation; to feel penetration; a guy sticks his location; in a girl's destination; to increase the population; for the next generation; did you get my explanation; or do you need a demonstration?
773 Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under...
774 I ran out of Viagra. Can I use you?
775 Do you know what part of the tongue registers the "sugary” taste? Wanna find out?
776 Can you lick your nipples? [No.] Can I?
777 I'm not an expert in hardware, but I know that you'd be able to screw my nuts off.
778 Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?
779 Roses are black, violets are red, what is it going to take, to get you into bed?
780 You've been a bad, bad girl. Go to my room!
781 Ever slept in a $5000 bed? Want to?
782 I'm hard. You wet?
783 Why is it so “hard” to get you “wet”
784 I'm a necrophiliac... How well do you play dead?
785 Sex is evil; Evil is sin; Sin is forgiven; so let's begin.
786 Do you believe in free love? (Certainly no!) Then how much do you cost?
787 I have a 13 inch dick. Remember that, there will be an oral exam later.
788 (Stare at her until she says "What!?!") It isn't just gonna suck itself.
789 Thanks for the blow job last night. (What blow job? I didn't give you one.) You didn't? You owe me one.
790 Let's go to your place and love each other until my ding falls in your thing.
791 Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.
792 Let's face it. I'm hot, you're hot and we both know you got a crush on me. And really, who can blame you with a gorgeous face like this. So can I snatch a kiss or vice-versa (that is kiss a snatch).
793 Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
794 I've got a hummer and a vibrator. Which one do you want to test drive first?
795 I don't know you, and you don't know me, but who's to say it's wrong if we sleep together?
796 I am participating in the Sexual Olympics multiple orgasm relay race my partner just died of exhaustion. Would you like to help me out?
798 I just popped a Viagra. So, we've got about 30 minutes to get back to your place.
799 I think that pick-up lines are for people with to much time on their hands. My hands are more useful in other ways… care for a demonstration?.
800 You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better if you sang into my microphone.
801 Hi. I'm gay, think you can convert me?
802 Grab your jacket, you've scored. Let's go.
803 If I'm a pain in your ass... We can just add more lubricants.
804 Excuse me. My friend over there is a little embarrassed. She'd like your phone number. She wants to know where she can get a hold of me in the morning.
805 Hey baby! Wanna play superheroes? I'll be Superman and do you faster than a speeding bullet.
806 Sniff....Sniff... I smell that you are in season, want to breed?
807 Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
808 I admit, I'm kind of a geek by day... But a sex machine by night!
809 Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met
810 If I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!
811 My name is {name}, but you can call me anything at all. Just call me.
812 If I were to ask you for sex,
would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
813 Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell all my friends that we did anyway.
814 You: Have I shown you my magic watch? It tells me that you're not wearing any underwear ... Girl: Nice try, I am wearing underwear. You: Shoot ... It must be an hour fast.
815 You make me so nervous and flustered, I've completely forgotten my standard pick-up line.
816 The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
817 There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
818 Hey, don't frown - you'll never know who might be falling in love with your smile.
819 He: Excuse me, want to dance? She: No. He: Maybe you didn't hear me ... I said you look really fat in those pants!
820 Wow! Are those real?
821 Hey babe, how about a pizza and a blowjob? [Slap] HEY! What's wrong, you don't like pizza?
822 He says, "I bet you $20 I can kiss you without using my lips." She says, "Bet's on." He kisses her then says, "I lost."
823 Hey I bought a new couch you wanna see it?
824 If you were a Oreo baby, you'd be double stuffed!
825 I never believed in miracles until I saw you.
826 Hey baby, my body is lonely, if ours were together they would be inseperable!
827 (look at her butt) that must be jelly, because jam don't shake like that.
828 The average person falls in love 7 times before marriage. Baby, you're my lucky seven.
829 They say apples don't fall far from the tree so you're mom must be hot too.
830 I bet I can flip ya and dick ya before you can throw me and blow me!
831 Let me make you dinner tonight, I'm serving tube steak smothered in underwear.
832 Santa must've come early this year, cuz you were first on my christmas-list.
833 Do you like ice cream? Good because you look like my favorite topping!
834 You're so pretty i wish i could plant you and grow a whole field of you.
835 If being fine was a crime then you will just have to pay the time.
836 If you were bubblegum you'd be babe-a-licious!
837 Is this the Matrix, because I think you're the One.
838 My phones feeling alittle empty, how about i fill it up with your number.
839 How long did it take you to walk around the sun to look that hot and be that sexy.
840 Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?
841 I'm yin and ur yang, we just fit together.
842 If you were president then your name would be Baberaham Lincoln.
843 Hey is it hot cause I think im melting all over you !
844 Excuse me, can you empty your pockets? I believe you have stolen my heart.
845 I almost got arrested for smuggling these guns into Mexico! (looks at arms).
846 Excuse me, but have had a shower lately, because you look like a dirty girl.
847 Are you an alien?, because you just abducted my heart.
848 Whoops i dropped a quarter can u pick it up for me while i look at your legs?
849 You have a onion butt...... it makes me want to cry.
850 Whose your daddy?
851 If your love could be described by words, Webster would have to make another dictionary just to describe you.
852 Hey baby you plus me equals we.
853 Do you have the time? (she gives you the time) No, the time to write my number down .
854 To the world your one person, to this person your the world.
855 You smell that.....? Smells like love.
856 I'm like a power plant, it's hard to shut me down, and I can turn you on.
857 Have you got the time? (gives time) cool, so you have a watch, i'll be here at 8, don't be late.
858 If a piece of paper meant sexy, then you'd be a forest!
859